she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
