fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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