we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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