You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
