he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
