I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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