i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There r osticjed everywhere
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize