So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
