If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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