Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
