how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
