just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
