I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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