and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
