I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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