You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
