how do flat chested girls get laid?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
