needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
