Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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