Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
