no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
