i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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