try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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