And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
