I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
