Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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