do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dignity is for republicans.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
