people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So squirting runs in the family.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
