I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we made out on top of his cat.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
