And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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