You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
