i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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