But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Is it because I queefed?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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