He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
