we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
dude. I can hear the air.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
