your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Boobs speak an international language.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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