zippers are such a cool invention
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
