No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you inspire me to be a worse person
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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