he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
