Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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