Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
