Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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