Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
