If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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