LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
