I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
