hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
