booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
