Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
