Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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