I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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