Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
