ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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