But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
