Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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